A Fishy Tale
These Instructions Are Not to Tough It Out,
These Instructions Are to Find Equanimity.
Upekkhā, (equanimity) the balanced response to joy and misery, which protects one from emotional agitation.
I remember many years ago I received an invitation which I accepted rather reluctantly. The invitation was to a 5 hour formal Japanese tea ceremony. At the time I was a student of the Japanese tea and a dedicated student. So one might think that a student would be delighted to receive an official invitation by her teacher to such an event. I was halfhearted and leaning towards the dread half. It was easy enough to know why but my knowing why didn’t ease my dismay.
In a formal tea ceremony each guest is served a series of Japanese food which was mostly seaweed and fish. I did not like seaweed and never ate fish or at least fish that was not rolled in batter and deep fried. The tea ceremony fish would taste fishy and I was simply worried that I would not be able to swallow it.
In a formal tea ceremony there is no way to chuck the food to the family dog or even a polite way to abandon it on the plate. One was expected to eat it. It was a gift to the guests and offered with great care.
I was unable to appreciate the idea of eating the offering of salty, pickled fish. The more I imagined the fish the more agitated I became. The more I thought about eating it in a room where no one moved not even to use the restroom the more I felt trapped and ensnared in my own worries.
It may seem like a small thing, perhaps even trivial but it was not a small thing to someone who is not awake. It’s a big thing. It’s a thing that disturbs the part of a human being that is called, “me.” I was troubled. At times I was frantic and at other times I simply told myself “I am not going.” Needless to say, I did go and I ate the fish.
We do not have to be hostage to foolish preferences. All acceptance is the Way.
I didn’t gag or try to disguise the taste or wave magical charms over it to shrink the size of it. When the fish was served I brought all my attention to the plate and opened to the experience, pardon the pun but I opened my mouth and tasted the fish. I chewed it and tasted it and swallowed it. It was unforgettable. The part of the human being called “me” remained upright in the middle.
This experience is one experience of living out equanimity, the balanced response of joy and misery, protected from emotional agitation.
Granted, it didn’t happen immediately, the balanced response took some effort to find, it took some determined mindfulness and some contemplation of what was the hindrance. Once I saw that I was caught in “like and dislike,” in preferences for what I wanted or in this case for what I didn’t want, I was able to arrive in the tea room open to eating what was offered. I could give up the preference. I used renunciation.
Once I was able to abandon my dislike of fish I was free to experience directly what I received. Emotional agitation was not possible since there was no leaning towards or away from any bait in the realm of craving.
The realization of equanimity, the calm poise and composure of no wobble, is a support to the 8 winds of desire; gain and loss, pain and pleasure, fame and disrepute and praise and blame. It provides a protection against the emotional turmoil of any side of these pairs of worldly stressors.
What are you craving currently in your own life?
Contemplate which way the wind is blowing, for or against it? See for yourself if you might be able to realize equanimity? Or at least begin to see for your self what might be thwarting composure and poise. What hinders the confidence (faith), skillful means and steadiness in receiving what is given? What blocks you from receiving what comes into your life?
The resources to receive are present, what blocks the resources? ME!
Skills Needed
Attention.
Renunciation. Letting Go.
Confidence.
Contemplation.
Realization.
Effort.
NO Labels such as “like & dislike.”
1 (Bhikkhu Bodhi, 154); 1 Bhikkhu Bodhi, trans., ed., In the Buddha’s Words, Wisdom Publications, Boston: 2005.
2 Photo Retrieved July 14, 2010, from http://japanese-tea-ceremony.net/
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